Why Jack Cheese Sucks

The worst cheese there is

Why Jack Cheese Sucks 

By: Pierce Martin, Intern Writer 


There are a couple core facts that you learn at birth that you carry with you your entire life, that eating, and drinking are necessary to live, how to breathe and that Jack Cheese is horrible.  

It is by far one of the worst cheeses that man knows. When someone says cheese you think of staples like cheddar, American, and Swiss. All of those are top cheeses. But jack cheese, jack cheese is a monstrosity of the entire dairy family. If it were up to me would be wiped off the face of the earth. 

First, we will start with the texture of the cheese. The cheese’s texture when cold is much like the texture of sharp cheddar, but without the elegant finish. Thus, when you put it on a cracker or a sandwich it immediately changes the feeling and alters the entire experience for the worse. 

Next, we will move onto the actual taste of the cheese itself. The taste of jack cheese is hard to describe, but I will try. Now imagine if you spraypainted cheddar white, changed its taste to taste older and rottener, dipped it in some old milk and then decided to leave it outside for a week before finally serving it 

The taste of jack cheese consistently makes whatever it is on or worse. Whenever it is put on a sandwich or paired with anything else it will immediately take over the taste. And make it, at best, a tasteless blob. Or at worst it will become a disgusting piece of food which you struggle to get down with every bite. 

If my worst enemy stuck themself on an island for the rest of their life and I am able to choose one food for them to survive on my choice is jack cheese for them so that every meal, they are only able to eat one of the worst cheeses there is. 

Overall if jack cheese were to disappear of the face of the earth one day it is a great day. I would fall to my knees praising God for wiping this disgrace from the earth. 

Only 11% of adults think that this is the best cheese according to https://www.womansworld.com/posts/food-recipes/favorite-cheeses-top-10.