On the (coffee) grind

I would like to take a moment to thank one of my dear friends. She’s tall. She’s grand[e]. She’s venti (Italian for 20). She’s Starbucks.

In case you have been living under a rock, Starbucks Coffee Company is a beautiful franchise, founded in Seattle, Wash. in 1971, that claims to produce the highest quality coffee in the world.

It claims to be not only the best, but also the largest — and it is. Currently, Starbucks is the largest coffee company in the world with 20,737 stores in 63 countries.

Now, you may be wondering why I consider this wallet-draining, calorie-laden franchise to be my friend. To put it simply, Starbucks gives me life.

I can already hear the haters laughing as they read this, mocking me for sounding like the stereotypical Orange County teenage girl.

But I truly do appreciate Starbucks. I’m pretty sure I went the day I got my driver’s license and I’ve been going multiple times per week ever since. In reflecting upon my immense appreciation for Starbucks, I’ve narrowed down exactly what it is that makes it so good.

1. The Caffeine: The summer before freshman year, I took summer school health with Mr. DeBusk. I remember vividly the day he assigned presentations on drugs; I was assigned caffeine. After researching caffeine and its addictive properties, I vowed that I would never dare drink the dangerous substance. I stayed true to my vow up until junior year when I had no choice — I had to drink it.  I knew caffeine, specifically coffee, would give me energy and I was in dire need of that energy to stay up until 2 a.m. to finish AP Biology formal labs.

When I first began drinking coffee, I thought it was hands-down the most disgusting concoction I had ever tasted. I considered it bitter and gross. But, as they say, coffee is an acquired taste and the more I drank it, the more I couldn’t get enough. Once I tried Starbucks coffee, I was no longer satisfied with the “peasant” coffee from my Cuisinart coffee maker at home. I was hooked. I came to associate Starbucks with caffeine and caffeine with energy and pretty soon, whenever I was tired, a light bulb went off in my brain telling me that Starbucks equaled energy. And that was that. The more college apps I complete and the less sleep I get, the more I rely on Starbucks to get me through the day.

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2. The Convenience: As I previously mentioned, there are 20,737 Starbucks stores in the world and plenty in the vicinity of SMCHS. Therefore, as you’re cruising down Santa Margarita or Antonio Parkway, it’s the most convenient option for a quick pick-me-up in the morning or after a long school day.

3. The Actual Drinks: Whereas the majority of cafes offer a limited selection of brewed coffees, lattes, mochas, macchiatos, cappuccinos and espressos, Starbucks offers a grand total of 87,000 different drink combinations.  Essentially, it’s almost impossible to get bored. With 365 days in a year, if you got one Starbucks drink per day, it would take you 238.36 years to try every single one. The average human life span is 70.78 years so you would have to live over three different lives in order to try all the available Starbucks drinks. Not to mention, Starbucks comes out with several new drinks each season so by the time you’ve tried all the drinks, you’d have another 87,000 new ones to try. Not only does Starbucks offer unlimited options, but most of the drinks are artfully crafted and delicious. I personally recommend a grande chai tea latte with two pumps of pumpkin spice.

4. The Baristas (especially the attractive ones): As a self-proclaimed “people person” I quite enjoy the amiable attitude with which Starbucks baristas approach their jobs. Not to say I haven’t come across some grumpy baristas, but the majority of them are quite pleasant. I sincerely appreciate how they treat their patrons like old friends, smiling and making conversation. I also really enjoy the attractive male baristas. It doesn’t get much better than an attractive man who also happens to be an expert in coffee making. God bless the baristas.

5. The Ambience: Aside from the occasional unwelcome pop ballad, Starbucks nails their playlists. They’re what I would call “on point.” Not only is the music usually a melodic array of indie tunes, but the design of every store is engineered to be the perfect atmosphere for studying and coffee dates alike. There’s an undeniable comfort in curling up in one of the massive leather chairs and sipping a latte whilst listening to the music playing smoothly over the speakers.

6. The Rewards Program: I got a Starbucks card on Feb. 20 and by July 20, I had already earned a gold card (35 purchases). Within a span of five months, I had achieved the title of Starbucks elite. I do realize that I’ve told some people I earned it in two, which is a bit of an exaggeration. In my defense, time flies when you’re having fun (or drinking Starbucks). And on Nov. 10, less than four months after I reached gold card status, I had made another 35 purchases. A good amount of these included multiple drinks. Oops? I justify these purchases by saying that every 12 purchases, I receive a free drink. However, a handful of free drinks in no way makes up for the ridiculous amount of money I’ve paid to Starbucks Coffee Company (an estimated $350-400). And I recognize this, but I still allow myself to be tricked by those little gold stars that pop into my virtual coffee cup every time I make another purchase.

7. The Community: Starbucks is a community. You’ve got the locals who come to the same Starbucks day after day, sometimes twice in a day. Those familiar coffee-addict faces become like old friends, united over a common love. And if you go to a Starbucks in RSM, you’re bound to see at least 10 people you know. No matter what city you’re in, it’s almost guaranteed you’ll find a Starbucks on a street corner.

8. The Packaging: Adorned with the infamous green siren, those seductive paper cups invite us all to experience the Starbucks magic. It’s something not many people consider but the Starbucks siren is actually a brilliant marketing strategy. (In Greek mythology, the Sirens were dangerous yet beautiful creatures.) So that green Siren lies flat on all Starbucks drinks, silently tempting you to drink up. There’s also just something so lovely about Starbucks Christmas cups that puts a smile on my face.

So there. Although I will never completely understand my fascination with Starbucks, and my love for it remains partially a mystery, those eight reasons sufficiently summarize why I (and many others) like Starbucks a latte.

In case you’re craving more coffee, here is some virtual coffee to quench your thirst:

• Lovely Coffee Gifs
• Coffee by Sylvan Esso